Where'd the cheese go? (I know exactly where)




What can you say about Kansas University that hasn't already been said (especially by those two hack commentators Brad Sham and Fran Fraschilla)?

A superb effort by the Jayhawks, particulalry on the defensive end, kept the Memphis Tigers at bay yesterday.

Mario Chalmers and Sherron Collins displayed outstanding hustle and shot sharply when it mattered most. The pair led Kansas to a resilient 75-68 win that won't soon be forgotten.

On the flip side, I personally thought Memphis' main man Derrick Rose played out of control. You can point to the stat sheet all you want but Rose is being incredibly overhyped by hoops commentators at the moment. Apparently it only takes a couple of reverse lay-ups pulled out of the backside of your shorts and you're suddenly the No.1 player in the country! I'm sorry, I don't buy it.

I'm not saying Rose won't play in the NBA but the fact is that he's a freshman, raw on talent and short of NBA type decision making. And if you're adamant about reeling off stats consider these: Rose was 7-17 from the field in the final, 1-6 from downtown and committed a whopping 5 turnovers.

These types of numbers don't matter to Sham or his offsider, who are so intent on predicting every play and providing us with lame inner monologues of the officials to even worry about the real facts. I believe the votes have been counted - Sham and Fraschilla are officially the cheesiest announcers in basketball.

Dick Enberg, where are you when we need you?

We Believe! Well at least I do...



It's that time of year again when your team either packs their high tops and jerseys for a playoff road trip or board shorts and sunblock for summer in Baha.

I think if I was a player, spending May and June on the beach would be fairly tempting after six months of being pummeled in the paint. You could hardly be blamed for tanking the season could you? Plus your club gets the added bonus of a lottery pick. Not a bad deal really.

But then I'd probably come to my senses and remember the atmosphere inside the Oracle Center last year, when the Warriors and their fans recreated the Great Western Forum from 1987. That was playoff basketball at its best. Warriors 4 - Mavericks 2: and all because we believed.

Can they do it again? Here's hoping. The last five games of the regular season will play out this week with the Warriors still stuck in 9th. I think if they can take down the ridiculously overachieving Denver Nuggets we may just be treated to some high octane Golden State playoff basketball once again.

Bracket Buster: 78-63 Memphis

What a disappointing performance by UCLA! Touted as the best team in the nation by, well, every so-called expert in the nation, the Bruins looked absolutely pedestrian against Memphis today. (A special thanks to the experts for screwing up everybody's brackets this year).

In the final fifteen minutes particularly, UCLA couldn't produce any rhythm or consistency whatsoever. I found myself asking, 'why so much hype for these guys?' Not only were they out-rebounded and out-hustled by the Tigers but their trigger happy shooters forced ill-advised jumpers like they were worth extra points or something. Hey fellas, unbalanced-leaning-forward-hand-in-your-face-early-in-the-shot-clock-16-footers are still only worth two points! Maybe coach didn't tell you that.

Memphis deserved the game because they wanted it more and were far more direct in their attack. It'll be hard to beat them in the final.

Golden State Worry... er...

It was just awful to watch the Warriors be dismantled by the Mavs yesterday. I never expected it and I don't think the blue and gold did either.

Dallas was red hot with Jason Kidd in particular playing like one of those movie stuntman set alight. He was running around uncontrollably and none of the Golden State players could douse the flames. It was frustrating - if you wanted the Warriors to win that is. They shot just 38% from the field to Dallas' 48%. And that's just the start.

What made it worse was that the Mavs - often sluggish in a half court set that's anchored by a seven footer with no lateral movement whatsoever - beat the Warriors at their own game. Yes, they out ran them!

Baron Davis might have scored 20 points but he was not distributing like we've seen him do all year. Where were you Diddy? Where was the hustle and flow? Where was the run and gun? Dammit, where was the showtime? It was no where to be seen in Texas on Wednesday, that's for sure.

Hey, I still believe. I still think Golden State can grab that eight seed in the west but it's going to take a better effort over the next week and a hell of a lot more passing. All up Golden State had 10 assists. Dallas had 35. You do the math. Geez Louise, Jason Kidd had 17 assists himself! Something stinks in the state of gold when the highest scoring team in the league can't string a few pases together doesn't it?

What a great catch...I think...

I could actually visualize Melky Cabrera's against-the-wall catch today...amazing, I know.

I just listened to the Jays vs Yankees game on MLB.com Audio, the first time i've tuned into a radio call in a while. And what a refreshing change it was. Not only was the call on the Jays' Fan 590 as solid as it gets but the beautiful simplicity of listening to sports on the radio once again was, well, like music to my ears.

Sure, there's nothing like sinking your backside into a well-worn couch, chewing through a bag of pretzels and taking in a game on a giant LCD screen. But to shake things up a bit, I wholeheartedly endorse rediscovering the radio call.

For some people, I'm sure this is no revelation - perhaps you listen to ball games in the car or at the desk at work. But for those who've forgotten all about the old wireless amidst the plasmas, i-pods and pay per views, do yourself a favour. The radio game is still a treat, even when your team loses 3-2 on opening day.

Who's the new guy?

Opening day!

Fresh cut grass, the aroma of hotdogs, the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd and the fat guy blocking the view from your otherwise perfect $50-3B-line seats. There are a few days on the sporting calendar that make being a sports fan worthwhile and opening day is one of them.

The Nationals vs. Braves game in Washington DC's new ball park had everything - big hits, some runs and a suspenseful 3-2 win for the home team. And who will forget the boos the President received as he walked out for the opening pitch? I mean this was a home game for the big guy. I'd hate to see how opposing fans treat the chief next time he gets the starting assignment.

What you talking
'bout?

UNC is playing stellar ball at the moment and it's no surprise Tyler Hansbrough is scoring most of the headlines.The junior center is a man possessed, leading his squad with both accurate shooting and tenacious rebounding (he had 28 and 13 in the Tar Heels win over Louisville).

But it's a little disappointing to see the other Tar Heels largely ignored. After all, without the superb wing and point guard play of lesser known Heels, Hansbrough wouldn't have room to breathe.

It reminds me of Nicholson's Joker being neglected by the newspapers in favour of Keaton's Batman. The Joker made the story but lacked the Bat's sex appeal I suppose. Basketball stars face similar battles. Take sophomore guard Wayne Ellington for example; his ability to attack defenders in the half court and scoot by "pedestrians" on the break has been spectacular in the NCAA tournament - and not unlike the explosive Leandro Barbosa. Ellington similarly brings an all-around game. Against Louisville he had 13 points and 5 rebounds. Against Washington State, 13 and 8. Go back to UNC's win over Clemson in mid-March, where the 6'4 guard racked up 24 points, 4 rebounds and 4 assists. Got your attention yet?

Then there's point guard Ty Lawson - where's his parade? At only 5'11, Lawson is making his opposite numbers double take on a consistent basis. Against the Cardinals he had 11 points and 9 assists, as well as a back-breaking three pointer with about five minutes left on the clock.

Danny Green too, has come up with some big plays, espcially on the defensive end. Green had 2 steals against Louisville and 3 in the win over WSU. He's also averaged 4.3 rebounds per game in March.

Hey, take nothing away from Hansbrough, the deserved collegiate player of the year, who's notched some hefty numbers himself. But this is not a one man game, despite how many times some commentators and writers promote the one man headline. Hansbrough is not an outstanding talent but he has great leadership skills and relentless drive. He has heart and that's what sets him apart from others. Yet, it's his supporting cast that are making this run to the Final Four possible.

Abbot wasn't funny without Costello and Arnold's catch phrases didn't land without Willis. It's the same deal for Hansbrough.

Scooooooores - with a Capital "S'

Washington Capitals maestro Alex Ovechkin scored his 60th goal of the season last week, the NHL's first 60-tally in 12 years. Unfortuantely the goal wasn't delievered in the type of Hollywood fashion I'd hoped for - you know, like when Rocky beat Apollo on the nine count or when Jimmy hit the big shot at the end of Hoosiers. So I thought why not enjoy his famous no-look score against the Phoenix Coyotes to mark the occasion instead. Grab some popcorn for this one!

Looking like an All-Star, feeling like an All-Star

One of the reasons I started this blog again was Converse Chuck Taylors. The iconic sneakers found their way back into my wardrobe last year and I felt newly inspired. They're just so freaking cool.

Have any other shoes endured like Chucks? They were all the rage in the Fifties, they came back for a stint in the Nineties and now it's on again in the new millenium. How can a pair of canvas basketball boots with no cushioning whatsoever possibly transcend the generations? It's surely the simplicity of the design: the once piece upper; the rubber toe; the diamond print sole; and of course, the star logo.

Barry Who?

Barry Bonds images - chiefly those of his lifesize bobblehead - have been completely removed from the San Francisco Giants' AT&T Park. That's right; if you're looking for signs of Barry you might have more luck on ebay...or not.

If it's billboards celebrating "756" runs you seek, however, forget it. Apparently the Giants are rebranding and refreshing for 2008. Yes folks, it's time to move on.

I feel San Francisco's pain; On the one hand, baseball's all-time home run champ was an integral part of your organisation for many years and deserves continued recognition. On the other, the guy has steroid allegations and perjury charges following him like that mutant odour on Seinfeld. At some point, don't you have to sell the car and wash your hair with tomato sauce?

Bringing back the magic

It's not everyday that you see magic performed in the NBA. Oh sure, they'll tell you the game today is stronger, faster, better but is it really? There are certainly some amazing athletes in the league - Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Carmello Anthony and Lebron James to name a few - but for all their athleticism and showboating, is the basketball inspiring? Is there any genius involved in dunking the crap out of the ball? Or overpowering other players wth brute force alone? Hey, I can appreciate Lebron is an enormous unit. The guy is the only athlete in history who could possibly win at any team sport by himself. Yes, even figure skating.

Seriously though, I'm thankful there are still some NBA pros that can dazzle the way Magic Johnson and Larry Bird once did.

Britney's Show About Nothing

Apparently Britney Spears was the most popular search entry on Yahoo this year. While many sports club GMs and owners scratch their heads, looking for ways to increase ticket sales and clear merchandise, Britney's figured out that Jerry and George were onto something. Nothing! Her's, is a show about nothing. What'd you do today - wake up trashed outside an L.A. nightclub? That's a show, there's a show. My advice to struggling sports teams, the current New York Knicks for example, is to do nothing. Disappear for while...keep 'em guessing...have a divorce...get caught with your pants down. Clearly, it's this sort of nothingness that really leads to something.

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and...Dodge

Canada's Sportsnet News ran a weird story yesterday about NFL players launching the ball into the crowd after scoring a touchdown. The "hard-hitting" analysis implied that the practice of throwing the ball into the stands is something akin to dodgeball. If it's not dancing in the endzone it's something else. Let's be frank here; it's a puffed up leather ball - not a javelin. What's the big deal? By the time it reaches the fans most of the zip is lost in the lower atmosphere anyway. And besides, who wouldn't want to try catch an NFL ball? Sorry, I don't get it. It's okay for a rock hard baseball but not a softer, and easier to catch pigskin. Aren't there more importnat things to worry about, like the poor state of today's NFL's commentary? That's more likely to slap you in the face.

Philadelphia On My Mind

I had no idea Michael Bolton was playing quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. Last night I saw Bolton in the post-game press conference saying how excited he was by the Eagles win over the Carolina Panthers, 27-24. Bolton threw 21-39 and 312 yards, for 3 touchdowns. Inspirational stuff...I wonder if he wrote a song about it?

Kobe, We Love it

I must admit, I've never been a big Kobe Bryant fan. Growing up watching Magic Johnson and Big Game James Worthy, it was difficult to swallow when a one-man-band like Kobe took over the Lakers. Even Shaq wanted out. It just seemed to me that Kobe never understood there was more to the game than scoring and showboating. And he never really created his own style, but simply replicated Michael Jordan.

With that said, Kobe's certainly made himself heard of late. Even if you don't appreciate his strictly one-on-one approach to a five-man game, you can't deny his ability make shots. His 16 of 19 from the floor and 12 of 15 from the line against Utah last week was sizzling. Hey, Kobe's 52 points in less than 35 minutes had even me taking notice!

Unfortunately for Laker fans, he followed it up with 11 of 23 shooting against the Clippers next game. But as long as Jack Nicholson and Lindsay Lohan are happy, then I suppose we should be too, right?

It's getting pretty ugly Rex

Everybody's calling for Rex Grossman's head. The fans are booing, the experts are calling him names - and throwing sticks and stones for good measure - and fantasy owners are pulling their hair out. This guy's going to end up more despised than my all-time favourite Windy City playcaller, Jim McMahon. (I can't believe I considered a fantasy trade for Sexy Rexy a few weeks back!) Despite all this, the Chicago Bears are 10-2 and have clinched the NFC North division. So surely the Bears' embattled QB is doing something right? Well, no, according to fans who in an online poll run by the Chicago Tribune today voted for Rex to get the boot. 64% said Grossman should not start at QB anymore.

It's hard to argue. Grossman's numbers were horrible on Sunday (6 of 19 for 34 yards, and 3 interceptions). It doesn't get much worse statistically but perhaps more alarming is his icey demeanour. Grossman has always stuck me as a "grossly" over-confident individual who rates his skills much higher than anyone with his ability should. And he never seems willing to conceed that he makes poor decisions. He reminds me of the guy who shows up to your pick-up basketball game with the latest Jordan sneakers and Vince Carter jersey, talking-up his talent, but finishes the day 2-19 and with seven turnovers. And yet, maintains he'll be back to torch you next week. These "players" somehow find their way into the mix, fooling everyone for a while with their bravado until their lack of skill catches up. We all know the type. In Grossman's case it's even harder to take because he's not totally void of talent - he just forces everything he does.

If I were coach Lovie Smith, I'd yank the No.8 for Brian Griese and just run the ball with Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson. No more bravado - the super bowl title is on the line here.

Shooting at the wrong goal

Trying to get your head around hockey as a foreigner isn’t easy—believe me. I’m an Aussie in Toronto, and hockey to my eyes, is from another universe. Our land is dry and cracked you see, good for the bounce of a cricket ball but completely inadequate for the glide of a puck. And the only skating we’re going to do is on slippery city streets after a summer downpour.

So understand that I arrived here this year rather ill-equipped to master the rules of your wonderful national pastime. After all, the only real references I have to the game are from movies such as Wayne’s World and Happy Gilmore.

Rest assured this won’t deter me from becoming a fan. When in Rome, right? The only problem is that after several months of tuning into Hockey Night in Canada, reading the sports pages, and discussing scores with locals, I feel no closer to conquering the sport. Hockey’s spirit alludes me like Sydney Crosby at full kilt.

It probably doesn’t help that I’m a neutral fan—a guy in a new Roots sweater just cheering for a good contest. “In the face!” Logic says I should be onboard with Leafs Nation given my home address, but I landed in T.O. in March and only know the club’s desperate finale of last season and limp start this season. I don’t feel I’ve earned my membership. I like the Leafs because they have a rich history and passionate fans, but it’s also because of these reasons that I question whether I belong amongst the ranks. To be honest, it’s a daunting commitment.

Diehard hockey fans hopefully appreciate my dilemma. I really need all the facts before making a decision of this magnitude. I mean they stamped my passport when I passed customs but they didn’t assign me a team did they? So I’m doing the legwork myself. I’m checking the numbers, reading player profiles and familiarizing myself with club histories. By the end of my quest, the likes of Paul Maurice will need to look over his shoulder. Of course I didn’t undergo this process with every sports team I support—that’d be just too much effort. But as hockey’s a new game to me, I think it deserves greater attention.

It’s not like when you’re a kid is it? Affiliations to sports clubs just happen, almost the same way you start noticing the opposite sex. It’s a natural progression and you can’t trace the exact moment it occurs. It was sometime during my first grade year, whilst dragging a blue and yellow Parramatta Eels rugby bag to school, that I learned of my initial sports bond. It’s a tie that hasn’t broken in 25 years and I’m sure many Leafs fans can relate. But when you’re a foreigner, sports loyalties are acquired not inherited.

So I continue to weigh up my place in hockey fandom. It’s not easy because I’m used to a much different fan environment. I’m from a country where most of the major sports teams are from only two of the major cities, Sydney and Melbourne. The only reason you wouldn’t support a team from these places is because you live as far away as Brisbane or Perth. Traditional rivalries back home are more about which side of the train tracks you’re from as opposed to which coast. My Eels team is based in the west of Sydney, for example, and their archrivals, the Manly Sea-Eagles, are from the north. This means that some of my best mates follow the team I despise most. Yet, somehow that’s acceptable. Somehow they can wear that cringe-inducing maroon jersey into my home and not be thrown out. I really need to address this.

I realize that big city rivalry is the norm in North America and that entire towns galvanize behind a single squad. It’s pretty simple; the disinterested dare not argue and the disloyal dare not speak. It’s a serious business supporting the home team. I’ve learned this more than ever during my time in Toronto. People here definitely bleed blue. I once visited a sports store on Yonge Street, for instance, and noticed a great selection of hockey jerseys. The only thing was that they were mostly variations of the Leaf uniform. Heaven help the businessman from Calgary, looking for a Flames jersey for his son. Then again, good luck to any Flames fan on the streets of Toronto.

I also once heard a mob of Sens fans in Union Station, happily singing for their side before a fixture at the ACC. They were promptly silenced, however, by the booming voice of a wisecracking Leafs supporter. Hey, they took a shot, I can respect that.

The other night though, I saw something I hadn’t previously seen in Hogtown. A big crowd at a downtown pub was raucously supporting—deep breath—the Vancouver Canucks. This seemed totally out of character. Had I stumbled into a Canuck bar I wondered? Impossible. Then it dawned on me; in a match-up like Vancouver versus St. Louis, it’s Canadian hockey that rules. Of course!

Satisfied by my discovery, I decided to explore Canadian hockey further and learn more about all six teams. The last thing I want to be is one of those Tom Cruise-like tourists who steps into town and is suddenly a lifetime Leafs fan. He did the same thing in Sydney you know? Yuh. During the Nicole years, the Cruiser was known to regularly attend South Sydney Rabbitohs footy games. Coincidently, the storied “Bunnies” are the favourite team of every star in town.

I’m choosing the educated approach over the bandwagon. I just feel better about it. Then, no matter which jersey I’m wearing, I can debate Don Cherry from my living room with all the conviction of a local. And that’s what hockey’s all about right?

Top 10 Best Sports Movies

Every sports site under the sun does Top 10 lists, so i'm jumping on the bandwagon. It's time for The Sports Slice's “Top 10 Best Sports Movies”.

10. Chariots of Fire – I can't overlook the great story, iconic music and the fact that it's about running. Who ever dreamed that long distance running could be entertaining onscreen? Genius.

9. Invincible - It's a new one but I believe a worthy one. The true story is almost unbelievable; a 30-year old bartender plays for the Philadelphia Eagles—you couldn't come up with a better premise if you locked Steven Spielberg, John Madden and a team of Disney writers in an NFL locker room.

8. Eight Men Out - One of the best baseball films around, complete with an all-star cast and a brilliant period backdrop. The White Sox cheating wasn’t good for the sport, but then again, it was fantastic for Hollywood.

7. All The Right Moves - This was Cruise before he was jumping on sofas and doing cheesy finger points. It's the typical small town story with a feel good finale, but is big on energy and low on hype—the opposite of today’s Cruise flicks.

6. Major League – “You may run like Mays but you hit like sh*t!” And with that, I give you the funniest baseball film of all time.

5. Caddyshack - Chevy, Bill and Rodney...need I say more? This is sports comedy at its finest. Nanananana...nannnananaa.

4. Rocky - The original and still one of the best. It's perhaps the only film in Sly's back-catalogue where mumbles and grunts were Oscar material.

3. When We Were Kings - A first-class documentary about the amazing Ali. It's spine-tingling stuff to see the great man dance like a butterfly and sting like a bee, in all walks of life.

2. Field of Dreams - Strange and moving, baseball and fantasy in one. Costner gives a nice performance and the film's simplicity does both the game and the story justice.

1. Hoosiers - I can't go past the scene in which Dennis Hopper's character coaches a game after Gene Hackman is ejected. It's one of those water works moments that even the hardest basketball afficianados can't withstand. Yes, even Knicks fans. Hackman shines as the big city coach in smallville Indiana and Hopper is superb in support. This is the ultimate underdog movie--even better than Revenge of the Nerds. Hard to believe, I know.

Runners-up: Days of Thunder, Happy Gilmore, The Natural, Kingpin, Hoop Dreams, White Men Can't Jump.

Dancing Machine

It occurred to me this week that Dancing With the Stars works on so many levels. You have beautiful women dancing in fancy dresses and handsome dudes in sharp suits—sewing up your female audience, ohhhh from about ages 11 to 83. Then you have your aforementioned beautiful women, mostly in skimpy dresses, sometimes less. That'll bring in the fellas. And lastly you have annoying judges who appeal to the TV geeks eager for yet more reality television drama.

But in a wider sense, this simple dance contest is a sports spectacle, filled with scintillating moves, amazing camera angles, outspoken personalities and importantly, a final score. And just in case you still weren't hooked to the premise, the producers threw in a genuine sports superstar in Emmitt Smith.

Hell, last week they even had a couple of Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders there for the twinkle-toeing big guy! What more could you ask for? Only hot dogs for the audience and some irritating play-by-play from Chris Berman would complete the picture.

The secret to NY success

If you're a Red Sox or Blue Jays fan, fuggettaboutit!

The NY Yankees clinched the American League East division title last week. So what's new, the New Yorkers have now won the division nine years straight. But while most experts believe the Yanks win because of their amazing talent and "genius" manager, I'm here to tell you it's the uniforms, haircuts and names that inspire their success.

Uniforms.
When i think of the intimidating and menacing Bronx Bombers, I picture the gray uniforms. That's G-R-A-Y. Yes the pinstripes are more famous, but you must realise the power of the grays. They're understated and underrated. It's inevitably the uniform movie makers use when re-creating the "scary" Yankees as well. Remember when Ricky Vaughn had to take 'em on in Major League? "C'mon Ricky, give 'em the heeeeeater!"

I digress.

Haircuts.
Then there's the Steinbrenner enforced haircuts. Jeter's is army sharp. So is A-Rod's--with a touch more styling--and even Johnny Damon looks tougher as a Yankee. Throw in Jason Giambi's five o'clock shadow and Randy Johnson's mo and you've got the makings of a regular Mean Streets posse.

And so to the names...

Names.
Robinson Cano: sounds like Robinson Caruso but not. Exotic, mysterious, an unknown quantity. Spells bad news for the opposition.

Hideki Matsui: Face it, Japanese names always sound cool.

Johnny Damon: He could be the quarterback-jock in any teen movie. Or maybe the lead singer of a punk band. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it.

Derek Jeter: Rhymes with "heater" and "beater", and contains the word "jet" so basically he's fast, and if you're not on his team you're screwed.

Melky Cabrera: Didn't I have one of those at Starbucks this morning? Whatever, it's a smooth name man.

Yep, may as well give them the World Series trophy too.